Macchars don’t wear sweaters

Guzaarish, Aansuon ki Baarish

Posted on: November 24, 2010


The Backdrop

Guzaarish was 3 hours of relentless “koi….kuch….bbolta..kyon…nahi..hai..bhai” moments in A.K Hangal (of Sholay) terms, or “HA HA HA HA HA…..babumoshai….HA HA HA HA HA” moments in Rajesh Khanna (of Anand) terms (remember when your blood froze from that most morbid cackle). Matlab melodrama ki Maa, tragedy ka Taya, dukh ka Dada.

Bollywood’s idea of a sensitive movie is to choose a character of various disabilities – deafness, muteness, blindness, paralysis, cancer – and strut it and parade it till the audience is drained of every last tear. Remember when Rani and Amitabh hobbled their way to our hearts with their heart rending “aiiiiiiiiiii……..aiiiiiii……aiiiiiiii”s in Black.

Similarly, Hrithik drools, wheezes and flops around his way into our sentimental hearts, as a wheel chair bound Quadriplegic, who is fighting for his “right to die”.  After 14 years of epic-heroic struggle with the disability, in which time he started hosting his own inspirational radio show, wrote a book for fellow Quadriplegics, we finally find him cooped in a medieval looking house (the movie is shot at various locales in Goa, like Italy, France and Portugal), surrounded by close friends who specialize on getting teary eyed at every single pretext, and giving “awwwwww…….bichara beemaar puppy” looks.

The Cast

Aishwarya Rai is Hrithik’s dedicated nurse, who has single handedly kept him going for 12 years, and wears the most European looking ghagra choli in the entire land. She doesn’t want him to die in typical “tumne mujhse pooche bagair itna bada faisla le liya…jao mai tumse baat nahi karti” style, but understands his suffering. A middle aged female hottie with a nice smile (naam nahi pata) is his best friend and lawyer, who fights for his cause in the court like the saccha but gullible insaan that she is, and tries her best to convince the judge with her sincere doggy expressions. Rajat Sharma (of Byomkesh Bakshi fame) is the prosecution lawyer who contorts his eyebrows at impossible angles to look villainous. Suhel Seth, finally shifting careers from being a professional NDTV debater, plays Hrithik’s sympathetic doctor, who cries like he is mocking the very act of crying. Finally, that nonogenarian sex-bomb Nafisa Ali plays Hrithik’s mother, and delivers a speech which convinces us of the right of her son to die “mere beta ke jaan lene ko hak tumko nai, court ko nayi, unki mummy matlab humko nai, siraf hrithik khud ko hota, samjha man?”.

Unfortunately, Hrithik loses the case, but Aishwarya saves the day by agreeing to marry him and kill him. Hrithik organizes an official death party with all of his closest friends and a few professional clappers to make the room look bhara bhara, and dies happily ever after.

Analysis

Hrithik in his misty eyed, smiling, cool cripple avtaar, hopes to finally topple Aamir Khan aka “Lallan” and “Nikumbh Sir” from his seat of the most noble guy in tinsel town.

Afterword

I did in fact like a couple of scenes in the movie. Like the scene where Hrithik’s wheelchair is parked against the edge of the waterfront with waves lapping up against it, and he imagines himself standing up and walking towards the waves.

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5 Responses to "Guzaarish, Aansuon ki Baarish"

Words are certainly not failing you and the writing has a painterly quality, and the sense of humor is vicious as a knife. One of your best, maybe the…

Hahahahaha I havent seen this movie yet but now I really really want to 😀 But I sincerely wonder what possessed Bhansali to cast Suhel Seth of all people as a neurologist hahahaha

and Aishwarya Rai dresses like a debutante in one of those Victorian balls..okay, you dont look like a nurse but seriously, dont look like you’re in a movie of one of Jane Austen’s books! 😀

you sat through this.

bhansali is like a chhapan bhog in pure desi ghee that i just cannot digest anymore. last i saw was black and was scared out of my wits from the opening scene of devdas to never return again.

interesting. might give it a shot.

hahahahahahahaha.. ur review is hilarious… esp the A.K Hangal bit:)

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