The most prolonged melodramatic scene in the history of Indian cinema
Posted January 21, 2010on:
If you thought dying characters who just wont go, or cheap tricks to extract tears and goose bumps (think Black where Rani Mukherjee and Amitabh Bacchhan hobble towards each other saying aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaa aaaaaaa to a violin orchestra playing in the background) was over the top Bollywood fare, here’s one for you:-
1) Rancho and his pals are expelled from college for pissing on the principals door, and are on their way out (Sharman’s heart rending tears dont work)
2) Relentless rains bring city to a halt
3) Principals daughter experiences excruciating labor pains and needs to be rushed to the hospital. Car breaks down in rainwater. Rancho and friends come across car.
One would expect Rancho and friends to help the daughter get to the hospital, setting the stage for a pardon from a principal. Not in the Raj Kumar Hirani scheme of things.
4) Rancho and friends carry daughter to college mess and lay her on the TT table. Kareena instructs them to do the delivery themselves.
You might think they would help deliver the baby, setting the stage for a tearful reconciliation and forgiveness. Not in Raj’s world.
5) Rancho dives between the daughter’s legs, but daughter is too exhausted to push out baby. Need a suction pump to pull out the baby. Rancho, brilliant that he is, designs suction pump from vaccum clear.
You may think Rancho will use the suction pump to deliver the baby, be applauded by all for his brilliance, be forgiven and all will be well. No way says Raj.
6) Light goes. Rancho utilizes second invention – car battery powered inverter. Uses it to start vaccum cleaner and laptop for remote instructions. Delivers baby successfully.
Your goose bumps are tired by now. You would think the delivery would lead to a hug filled reconciliation, all around forgiveness, and happiness for all. Abe jaldi kya hai – says Raj.
7) Baby appears to be stillborn. Doesn’t cry or respond to revival attempts. Rancho says “aaal is well” and baby comes back to life.
WHAT NEXT???? YOU SAY. “DOES THE MOTHER DIE NOW??” Packup – says Raj.