Macchars don’t wear sweaters

On the progressive cinema movement in India

Posted on: December 14, 2009

Madhur Bhandarkar’s idea of the ultimate depth of moral decadence – sleeping with a black man.

Stages of Priyanka’s moral dissipation

  1. Priyanka Chopra, a nice small town girl from Chandigarh (LIES!!), is corrupted by the corrupt world of Fashion, and treats her former true friends like dirt.
  2. Falling further through the moral stratosphere, she starts smoking and drinking (chee chee).
  3. Continuing on her downward moral spiral, she starts going to parties.
  4. Just when you thought she couldnt get any more immoral she starts taking drugs.
  5. The ULTIMATE in moral hell – she sleeps with a black man (looks like a kabila dancer)(working in roadies promos these days)
  6. Since it cant get any worse, she starts recovering moral ground.

Madhur Bhandarkar’s idea of realism – A bunch of drivers at a funeral “madam dil ki bahut acchi thi. bhagwan acche logon ko apne paas kyon bula leta hai“. A bunch of rich ladies at the funeral “meri nayi designer mourning Sari kaisi lagi? accha hua mar gayi, kaafi time se koi marr nahi raha tha pehen-ne ka mauka nahi mil raha tha“.

Anurag Kashyap’s idea of realism – Girls saying “choooooootiye” and “harami“. Characters with callous eyes whose sentences never have more than 5 words.

Farhan Akhtar’s idea of realism – Record all dialogues in a closed bathroom for the muffled echoing sound, with the flush in the background. Nothing else need change.


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14 Responses to "On the progressive cinema movement in India"

spot on. but a little bitter, there, eh? 🙂

you didn’t take on vishal bhardwaj. there’s plenty of fun stuff in his films in the context of your post.

Getting better and better. You actually had me laughing. You seem to be peaking too!

Come to think of it, that is exactly where “progressive” hindi cinema seems to be at.

😀 😀

Hilarious !!! RGV pe bhi take lena tha yaar….. 😉

LOL, amazing!

Please, please, please write something on Aishwarya Rai. I don’t like her one bit and would love to see her being taken apart like this 😀

@ harman – thanks! i don’t have Vishal Bhardawaj too much to be honest. I rather liked Kameeney, which was pacy and held my attention (the finale was overdone though).

@ buzz – thanks!

@ arsh – RGV isnt exactly progressive cinema is he?

@ puneet – you bet id love to take aish apart! hehehehehe

great post…loved it.

=)

are more such posts on the lineup?

yeah with the graph and the relations…you really cracked me up =)

yeah i second aish should be in line now.

You had me with the Madhur Bhandarkar part, but the Kashyap and the Farhan Akhtar references went past me. Care to explain?

Try seeing Gulaal for Kashyap.

For Farhan Akhtar see – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZtWMdhsRPI&feature=related

The graph resembles the Uncanny Valley.

cocktail realism. these directors, once refreshing, are so much in the limelight that they become a part of the brigade.

why the hell should I read about anurag kasyap’s romance with kalki every second day, for instance?

we killed the nihlanis and benegals.

the comments and the graph on Fashion were really spot on!

Haha! I remember thinking the same thing..there cud really be nothing worse than sleeping with a black man in Bhandarkar’s moral universe, right? And a one night stand after getting really drunk, too? She must definitely be going to hell!

Bhandarkar seems to make movies from the POV of the 60s middle class..”Look, these people go to parties and nightclubs, they must be evil! We must never let our kids enter their soulsucking world!” He just coasts along on the strength of the acting talent he employs..

I like Anurag Kashyap’s obvious people-hating tho’..when Dev swallows that annoying lady’s bus ticket and K in that lift in No Smoking..he must find people really irritating!

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