Macchars don’t wear sweaters

Pure Villany – Another Day at XYZ Gharana

Posted on: June 5, 2008

Co authored by Hansa Makhijani (do visit blog)

Disclaimer : Any resemblance with currently playing soap operas or late 80s/early 90s bollywood movies is purely coincidental.

Scene/Plot – Hansa, newly wedded into XYZ family, soon casts away the guise of a delicate and reverent bride and reveals her true personality. While her gullible and hardworking husband is away at work, it is for her pious and virtuous old saas and sasur to bear the brunt of her evil and sadistic ways.

Hansa (to father in law swabbing the floor): e budde!!!! wo wahan daag kaun saaf karega!! tera baap??? (raps him with his walking stick)

Hansa: ae budhiya, lagta hai mera hunter pada nahi tujhe bade din se, chal bageeche ki ghaas kaat

arre maine lawn mower use karne ko kaha kya??? apne muh se kaat!! aur use khaa!!!

Hansa: e budiya!!! aaj fir gobi khilayegi!!! (throws garam garam gobi at buddis face)

*Ana, Neha & Aarti, old friends of Hansa, come on a social call*

ana (pointing at old couple huddled on the floor) = ye bichare budda buddi kaun hain?

hansa : ye mere naukar hain

budda = magar bah…SSSLAPPPPPP ( Hansa shuts him up before he can complete “bahu”)

Exit pitifully weeping Budda Buddi

Buddi (outside the room): humne kya paap kiye hain jo ye din dekhna pad raha hai.

Budda: ro mat shanti, sab theek ho jayega. bahu abhi na samajh hai.

*Budda Buddi Continue weeping*

Hansa : MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA bol ana kaise aana hua

chal kitty party shuru kare

tu patte kaat main breezer nikalti hu

*They get busy playing patte

Hansa : mera pehla daaw meri saas ka mangalsutra 

mera doosra daaw mere sasur ka pension account

*soon they get engrossed in conversation*

hansa (as she looks at and arranges her cards) = yaar ana mera dil vo nayi chevrolet ki gaadi lene ka hai..magar paise nahi hain

hansa : tujhe pata hai mere sasur ke upar life insurance policy hai….aur haadse to hote rehte hain….

neha : tu dono budda buddi ki insurance use karke tavera kyon nahi le leti. tu budda buddi ko alag thodi karna chahegi??


ana – main ek aadmi ko janti hu jo ye kaam saste mein kar dega 

aarti – arre saste mein kya ye to free mein ho sakta hai. maine to khud hi kiya tha

hansa = mujhe kisi aadmi vaadmi ki zaroorat nahi hai

aarti = maine kerisone oil use kiya tha….bada effective hai

cheekhen sun ke extra maza aata hai

hansa – bas mere pati ko kuch nahi pata chalna chahiye

ana – vo to lallu hai

Hansa: nahi yaar. kahin teesri shaadi na karni pade

neha – saare mard lallu hote hain. ab mere patiko hi dekh lo.

ana (in her characteristic style) – yaa, can u call me when u murder your saas sasur, jabse maine apne waalon ko maara hai i havent had that sort o fun yaa

the saga continues……


7 Responses to "Pure Villany – Another Day at XYZ Gharana"

though trust me, i could actually HEAR hansa yellin at her saas and sasur ji. Oh man, the Slap was good! But..err..why was cleo not invited to the infamous kitty scene?? Was he cooking for his wife??? You guys should have added that too somewhere! Maybe he could become Hansa’s “lallu” pati, o what fun!

hee hee….perhaps thats because cleo has since meptamorphisized into geek…or perhaps hes been made aware of his “mardangi” by a certain somebody.

damn there are so many of our chats i would have liked to save and go back to. sab chali gayin!!!

Read this at Hansa’s tune accha explain kiya hai. Laughed here actually 😀

Jeeeeeeezuz…what were you thinking pankaj the junk

…hi man

i’m writing u bcz u made me laugh after years.gr8 sense of humour(..was remembering writer,director Ashwani Dhir
while fame.u tame d character when u say “in her characterstic style”.keep it

this would have been way funnier if i knew what they were saying! hee hee

(throws garam garam gobi at Panks face)

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