Macchars don’t wear sweaters

What do i say,

its already been said

what do i write?

its already been written

even my pain has been suffered before,

and a countless times more.

Let’s be like two cogs in a machine, spoke in groove, whirring in perfect unison

Oh, but my spokes broke long ago.

Let’s be like two graceful dancers, moving to the rhythm as one

Oh, but I never learnt to dance

Let’s be like two hands in gentle grip

Oh, but my fingers tremble

Lets be like brush and canvas, and capture life’s moment in a masterpiece

Oh, but i ran out of colour

Let’s be like a musical score, notes melting in musical harmony

Oh, but I am so out of tune

 

 

Co authored by Hansa Makhijani (do visit blog)

Disclaimer : Any resemblance with currently playing soap operas or late 80s/early 90s bollywood movies is purely coincidental.

Scene/Plot – Hansa, newly wedded into XYZ family, soon casts away the guise of a delicate and reverent bride and reveals her true personality. While her gullible and hardworking husband is away at work, it is for her pious and virtuous old saas and sasur to bear the brunt of her evil and sadistic ways.

Hansa (to father in law swabbing the floor): e budde!!!! wo wahan daag kaun saaf karega!! tera baap??? (raps him with his walking stick)

Hansa: ae budhiya, lagta hai mera hunter pada nahi tujhe bade din se, chal bageeche ki ghaas kaat

arre maine lawn mower use karne ko kaha kya??? apne muh se kaat!! aur use khaa!!!

Hansa: e budiya!!! aaj fir gobi khilayegi!!! (throws garam garam gobi at buddis face)

*Ana, Neha & Aarti, old friends of Hansa, come on a social call*

ana (pointing at old couple huddled on the floor) = ye bichare budda buddi kaun hain?

hansa : ye mere naukar hain

budda = magar bah…SSSLAPPPPPP ( Hansa shuts him up before he can complete “bahu”)

Exit pitifully weeping Budda Buddi

Buddi (outside the room): humne kya paap kiye hain jo ye din dekhna pad raha hai.

Budda: ro mat shanti, sab theek ho jayega. bahu abhi na samajh hai.

*Budda Buddi Continue weeping*

Hansa : MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA bol ana kaise aana hua

chal kitty party shuru kare

tu patte kaat main breezer nikalti hu

*They get busy playing patte* 

Hansa : mera pehla daaw meri saas ka mangalsutra 

mera doosra daaw mere sasur ka pension account

*soon they get engrossed in conversation*

hansa (as she looks at and arranges her cards) = yaar ana mera dil vo nayi chevrolet ki gaadi lene ka hai..magar paise nahi hain

hansa : tujhe pata hai mere sasur ke upar life insurance policy hai….aur haadse to hote rehte hain….

neha : tu dono budda buddi ki insurance use karke tavera kyon nahi le leti. tu budda buddi ko alag thodi karna chahegi??

hansa, neha, ana, aarti – HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

ana – main ek aadmi ko janti hu jo ye kaam saste mein kar dega 

aarti – arre saste mein kya ye to free mein ho sakta hai. maine to khud hi kiya tha

hansa = mujhe kisi aadmi vaadmi ki zaroorat nahi hai

aarti = maine kerisone oil use kiya tha….bada effective hai

cheekhen sun ke extra maza aata hai

hansa – bas mere pati ko kuch nahi pata chalna chahiye

ana – vo to lallu hai

Hansa: nahi yaar. kahin teesri shaadi na karni pade

neha – saare mard lallu hote hain. ab mere patiko hi dekh lo.

ana (in her characteristic style) – yaa, can u call me when u murder your saas sasur, jabse maine apne waalon ko maara hai i havent had that sort o fun yaa

the saga continues……

 

in the cool night breeze, as i listen to you, o pure creature of nature, o u delicate child, o u picture of beauty,

mersmerised utterly, i wonder, arent you the comforting womb of the night itself, & the cool touch of its breeze.

curled up on your chair, i have so grown to adore your every gesture, every curl of your tender lips, every glance of your sparkling eyes, every blink of your shy eyelashes, every tilt of your head as you lay it down on the railing, every syllable of your soft voice.

am i to be blamed then, for wanting you for myself? to hold you close?

how can you be so untouched by cyncisim? so in touch with yourself? wherein lies this secret font which radiates joy?

i have lived long enough, every cell wracked & strained, just getting through life, hanging on, but what is this new world you have opened to me, where true happiness seem like a compelling possibility?

i had many thoughts of what my beloved would be like, but you exceed the ideal